10/GUI

Tired of using a mouse for your computer? Thinking there must be a better way?
I just saw this new experimental way of interfacing with your computer called 10/GUI. (GUI = Graphical User Interface. Others have used the acronym WIMP: in human–computer interaction, WIMP stands for "window, icon, menu, pointing device", denoting a style of interaction using these elements. It was coined by Merzouga Wilberts in 1980. Although its usage has fallen out of favor, it is often used as an approximate synonym of "GUI". That's from the WIMP page in Wikipedia)

10/GUI allows you to use ten interface points instead of just one (a mouse cursor) or two (a scroll wheel). This broadens your ability to interact with your computer and allows you to do more at once. Check it out on this video. It really is worth a watch.

10/GUI from C. Miller on Vimeo.

Although the interface concept (using all ten fingers) is really quite revolutionary, there must be more you can do using ten fingers instead of one than the simple actions they suggest. It suggests that this is going in the direction of virtual reality - actually using your hands to manipulate objects on the screen. But we're not there yet. Part of the problem is that most of us are still in the mouse paradigm and can't yet get our heads around thinking in three dimensions or using more than one finger at a time. But then it works with a keyboard. Right now I'm typing reasonably fast with few mistakes on a keyboard and I can type faster than I can write - which is true of most people my age or younger. So the concept of speeding up the interactions between computer and humans is a solid one. We just need to be more creative.

However, I'm not sure that the "software solution" is all that innovative. Unless you need to keep dozens of windows open at all times it's not really all that helpful. As someone else said it's like putting training wheels on a bicycle - it helps stabilize something that is stabilized by forward motion.

Mac has started using some of these motions but it is inconsistent over multiple applications.
Re-wording the 10/GUI passage above to fit the Mac: a single finger points, clicks, and drags objects like a mouse. Two fingers scroll or pinch-zoom inside windows. Three fingers move windows around the desktop, and three-finger pinching resizes windows. Four fingers switch between applications, and four-finger pinching invokes Exposé.

Death by Blogging

Here is a great reason why I don't blog as much anymore - it's bad for your health.

This story talks about how difficult it is to be a blogger who actually stays on top of all the stories and topics he (or rarely she) is interested in. A few quotes:

Two weeks ago in North Lauderdale, Fla., funeral services were held for Russell Shaw, a prolific blogger on technology subjects who died at 60 of a heart attack. In December, another tech blogger, Marc Orchant, died at 50 of a massive coronary. A third, Om Malik, 41, survived a heart attack in December.

Other bloggers complain of weight loss or gain, sleep disorders, exhaustion and other maladies born of the nonstop strain of producing for a news and information cycle that is as always-on as the Internet.

To be sure, there is no official diagnosis of death by blogging, and the premature demise of two people obviously does not qualify as an epidemic. There is also no certainty that the stress of the work contributed to their deaths. But friends and family of the deceased, and fellow information workers, say those deaths have them thinking about the dangers of their work style.

The pressure even gets to those who work for themselves — and are being well-compensated for it.

Blogging has been lucrative for some, but those on the lower rungs of the business can earn as little as $10 a post, and in some cases are paid on a sliding bonus scale that rewards success with a demand for even more work.

There are growing legions of online chroniclers, reporting on and reflecting about sports, politics, business, celebrities and every other conceivable niche.

One of the most competitive categories is blogs about technology developments and news. They are in a vicious 24-hour competition to break company news, reveal new products and expose corporate gaffes.

To the victor go the ego points, and, potentially, the advertising. Bloggers for such sites are often paid for each post, though some are paid based on how many people read their material. They build that audience through scoops or volume or both.

Speed can be of the essence. If a blogger is beaten by a millisecond, someone else’s post on the subject will bring in the audience, the links and the bigger share of the ad revenue.

“There’s no time ever — including when you’re sleeping — when you’re not worried about missing a story,” Mr. Arrington said.

All that competition puts a premium on staying awake. Matt Buchanan, 22, is the right man for the job. He works for clicks for Gizmodo, a popular Gawker Media site that publishes news about gadgets. Mr. Buchanan lives in a small apartment in Brooklyn, where his bedroom doubles as his office.

He says he sleeps about five hours a night and often does not have time to eat proper meals. But he does stay fueled — by regularly consuming a protein supplement mixed into coffee.

“The fact I have a few thousand people a day reading what I write — that’s kind of cool,” he said. And, yes, it is exhausting. Sometimes, he said, “I just want to lie down.” Sometimes he does rest, inadvertently, falling asleep at the computer.

“If I don’t hear from him, I’ll think: Matt’s passed out again,” said Brian Lam, the editor of Gizmodo. “It’s happened four or five times.” Mr. Lam, who as a manager has a substantially larger income, works even harder. He is known to pull all-nighters at his own home office in San Francisco — hours spent trying to keep his site organized and competitive. He said he was well equipped for the torture; he used to be a Thai-style boxer.

“I’ve got a background getting punched in the face,” he said. “That’s why I’m good at this job.”

Mr. Lam said he has worried his blogging staff might be burning out, and he urges them to take breaks, even vacations. But he said they face tremendous pressure — external, internal and financial. He said the evolution of the “pay-per-click” economy has put the emphasis on reader traffic and financial return, not journalism.

On The Law

I just finished reading a book called "The Shack" by William Young. There is a website and a blog by the author. (If you go to the blog read this story.) Anyway it was an excellent story about one man's relationship with God and really brings out the key elements of the workings of the Trinity. It has a number of real gems of wisdom and insight and I thought I'd post a couple of them here (without giving away the plot or anything).

Yes I did cry while reading it and yes I do recommend it - heartily.


On The Law
Why do you think We (God) came up with the Ten Commandments?
Actually We wanted you to give up trying to be righteous on your own. It was a mirror to reveal just how filthy your face gets when you live independently.
But there are many who think they are made righteous by following the rules.
But can you clean your face with the same mirror that shows you how dirty your are? There is no mercy or grace in rules, not even for one mistake. That’s why Jesus fulfilled all of it for you – so that it no longer has jurisdiction over you. And the Law that once contained impossible demands – Thou Shall Not … - actually becomes a promise God fulfills in you. But keep in mind that if you live your life alone and independently, the promise is empty. Jesus laid the demand of the Law to rest; it no longer has any power to accuse or command. Jesus is both the promise and the fulfillment.

Trying to keep the Law is actually a declaration of independence (from God), a way of keeping control. It grants you the power to judge others and feel superior to them. You believe you are living to a higher standard than those you judge. Enforcing rules, especially in its more subtle expressions like responsibility and expectation is a vain attempt to create certainty out of uncertainty. And contrary to what you might think, God has a great fondness for uncertainty. Rules cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse.

Are responsibility and expectation just another form of rules we are no longer under?

Religion must use Law to empower itself and control the people who they need in order to survive. I (God) give you an ability to respond and your response is to be free to love and serve in every situation, and therefore each moment is different and unique and wonderful. Because I am your ability to respond, I have to be present in you. If I simply gave you a responsibility, I would not have to be with you at all. It would now be a task to perform, an obligation to be met, something to fail.

For example: friendships. There is an expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’ – spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, Law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend.

Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value. You know well what it is like not to live up to someone’s expectations. P. 202-206 The Shack

Eleven Days

It's been 11 days since my last confession ... er, ... post. There are lots of good reasons. I had a friend spend a week with me over Easter. It was good to re-connect and work on some stuff together (we plan to write a book together).

It's interesting to discover what you learn about yourself when you spend 10-12 hours a day for almost a week together with the same person. The first thing I discovered is that I am mostly an introvert. I like and I need to spend time alone. I get out of sorts if I don't. But I also realize that I'm at least partly an extrovert. If I spend too much time alone I get a bit squirrelly. (That does manifest itself in my Meyers-Briggs profile.)

My friend likes coffee. So do I and we drank a lot of it this week. The second thing I discovered is that I shouldn't really drink coffee all day long. I've come to realize that a couple of "grande bolds" from St. Arbucks is plenty of coffee for one day.

The third thing is that I like to do the research, intellectual pondering activity of discovering new ideas and finding out how they work. Translating that into action requires a bit more effort on my part. It's helpful to have someone who is different than I am to help me change gears. My friend approaches the world differently than I do. So does my wife.

I love books. I love buying new books. I like starting to read books. I have a hard time finishing most books. I've discovered most books would make good journal articles. If i could sort through all the stuff that doesn't belong in the journal article, I can read a book a day. I may have to rethink the "buying lots of books" thing.

Having lived with a theology professor all week I realize that on most days I'm still smarter than a fifth grader.

Glorious Insults

I enjoy the English language. A well written piece of prose can delight the heart. A wonderful turn of phrase can put a smile on my face all day as I attempt to find some excuse to incorporate it into a conversation. The great writers and conversationalist of our time (and in history) are able to remember these unique turns of phrases and use them in daily communication. I tend to forget them once the day is done - until I hear someone else use them. Or until someone sends me an email like the one below.

There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English repartee was boiled down to four-letter words! Enjoy.


'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill

'He is a modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' - Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' -Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend -- if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night but I will be able to attend the second night -- if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.' And he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it!''

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, sir,' said Disraeli... 'On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress'.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' - Jack E.Leonard

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' - Charles, Count Talleyrand

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.....but this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx

A Sense of Call

I think I've said it before - I write when I'm inspired. That makes it a bit difficult to write a regular blog. This week has been busy on and off and has had a number of interesting things in it. However, as you may have noticed, I have not been inspired enough to write any of it down. However, this week I was reminded of how God had gotten my attention 17 years ago.

I had a chance to go downtown on Wednesday to attend and share a few words at a former colleague's celebration of their 25th year working at Yonge Street Mission. I met Bill Ryan in 1982 when I was doing my seminary placement at Yonge Street Mission. He was the pastor of Church on the Street (COTS) - one of the first street churches in Canada. I sat on the Advisory Committee for COTS and then followed Bill as the pastor when he became the director of the Community Centre - another branch of YSM.

He spoke of his call to work at the mission and interestingly enough, my call to work at the mission was closely linked with his. At a COTS advisory committee meeting in October of 1990, Bill said to the group that since he was coming up to his fifth anniversary of his tenure as pastor of COTS he was going to spend the next few weeks evaluating his call to the church - but he was sure he was going to remain.

It was at that moment that God popped a thought into my heart: "Michael, why don't you do that?" Do what? "Become the pastor of Church on the Street!" God (I said), didn't you hear Bill? He said he was sure he was going to remain. Then I put it out of my mind - except it wouldn't stay out of my mind. I started thinking about it all the time - until about two months later when I made an appointment to talk to Bill about how he was doing and about this irritating thought that wouldn't leave my mind

What he told me at that lunch meeting blew my mind! He said that immediately after the advisory committee meeting that past October, the executive director of YSM (Rick Tobias) asked him to be the next director of the Community Centre. God had confirmed the call to me the day He had given it to Bill. We both were amazed at the timing of God.

It took me another couple of months to convince my mind of what my heart was already sure about. In July of 1991 I became the pastor of Church on the Street and then worked for Yonge Street Mission for the next nine and a half years.

God in the Common Places

I was in my "office" again today - the Second Cup coffee shop at Promenade Mall. I have a hard time being productive when I'm just sitting at my desk in the basement of my house. It helps me focus when there is a lot of "white noise" activity going on around me. I get more reading done. I can journal better. I can even write better sitting in a busy place.

But that's not the only reason I go to the mall. I like to watch people. I like waiting for divine appointments. I like to see the interactions that happen "in passing." I wrote this following article for a newsletter a few years ago as I was trying to understand the concept of what I now know as Missio Dei or "the missional God" - the one who becomes like us and goes out from where He is to be with us. He is the incarnational God - God with us - Immanuel. Here's the article ...




It’s 11:30 a.m. on a Monday. The regular crowd shuffles in. I have a large Paradiso Dark on my table and a Billy Joel tune floating through my mind. I can hear the gentle splash of the fountain providing a pleasant white noise in the background. It’s highlighted by the staccato clank-clank of spatula against grill from the Japanese food outlet. There’s that unique hubbub a hundred voices make in a large room - occasionally punctuated by the excited scream of a toddler or the high pitched beep of a cell phone.

I watch the people. It’s amazing: the diversity of humanity that you see in a public place. The retirees sitting alone reading the paper. An older woman writing a dollar store birthday card to her granddaughter. An impossibly young teenage mother pushing a squirming, straining baby in a stroller. A nervous young guy with a black Roots toque pulled low, waiting for his dealer to come by. An old man with a full grey beard, and grey lifeless eyes, drinking coffee – looking all the world like life has used him up. The group of four or five older men having an animated discussion in a language I don’t recognize. The four teenagers from the high school, cutting class to meet with their boyfriend or girlfriend. The weird, but harmless looking guy with the silly grin, who picks up his coat and bag to change his seat every five or six minutes. He’s changed his spot eight times since I’ve sat down.

At 12:03 the place starts to buzz with the growing lunchtime crowd. Teenagers are ten deep at the McDonald’s counter. The tables fill up quickly. Security makes an appearance – standing around the edges, keeping an eye out for trouble. The guard stares for a moment at four young guys at a table near me and quickly walks over to them. I wonder what they’ve done wrong. “Sorry guys. No card playing allowed.” Crazy Eights is apparently a restricted activity here.

By 12:40 the room has become quieter again and there are no kids from the high school anymore. Only the real regulars are left – the harmless, weird guy, the seniors, moms and their kids, the unemployed guy going through the want ads, and a few “suits” still on their lunch break. Especially endearing is the older gentleman sitting two tables over, hands in his lap, patiently waiting for his wife to return from shopping. You can tell he’s done this a thousand times before.

I love to watch people. I enjoy interacting with people. I especially notice the people sitting alone, reading the paper – or more often than not, just looking around. Once in a while I have a conversation. Sometimes I see someone I know.

Yes, I’m at the mall. The mall has become the modern public square – the modern marketplace, the new human crossroads. A busy mall may see tens of thousands of people come and go every day. It provides employment for a thousand people at any one time. It’s a place people go to shop, to access professional services. It is increasingly becoming a place to go when there’s nothing else to do. It has become something of a social outlet for many – especially for youth, seniors and for others looking for connections. As a result, a mall not only provides commercial products and services, but has become in many respects a meeting place, a place to hang out, a living room.

People come to a mall because they are lonely and looking for human contact; looking for something to change their desperate existence. They may come because the prospect of facing four walls with only a TV for company is too daunting.

People come longing for things they may not be able to afford, filling their credit cards with debt they can't handle. It’s where tired mothers go when they don’t know what else to do with the kids. It’s a place estranged fathers take their children - struggling to entertain them during their one visit a week. Teenagers go to the mall – desperately wanting to fit in with the crowd at the food court – and willing to do almost anything to find acceptance. These are not just financial and commercial issues. These are social issues. More importantly these are spiritual issues.

The public crossroad places of life (malls, coffee shops, school parking lots, book stores) are places of safety and familiarity for people. For one reason or another people do not perceive the church to be a safe place any more. People tend not to share their innermost longings, doubts and self-destructive, sinful habits with the complete stranger at the equally strange church fellowship time – especially if they think (rightly or wrongly) they are going to be judged for being sinful. Why reveal yourself too candidly to people who you perceive to be “holier than thou’? Paradoxically, they will share their innermost longings, doubts and struggles to overcome destructive habits with a complete stranger at the coffee shop, knowing that they may never see that person again.

I believe people deeply need to be listened to. They are desperately interested in the healing touch of God, something that can transform dull, impotent, sick, meaningless routine, into vibrant, useful, healthy and purposeful living. People are seeking to be changed.

In order to be effective in the new millennium, we need to prioritize our time to be purposely spent, not in church meetings, but in the public crossroad places of life being with people. Can we take time to listen to people who are willing to speak candidly in an anonymous atmosphere free from fears of judgement? Can we hear the longings of the lonely? Can we read between the lines of conversation to discern the doubts, self-recriminations, and dreams of the people? Are we willing to take the risk to invest our lives encountering people we have not yet met?

The mall is one of those common places where people hang out, waiting for connection, and longing for transformation. God is in the common places. Too bad the church isn’t.

Not Much Meandering

I'm not sure why but I'm not surfing the web as much these days (or meandering as my blog post titles would say). These days I have not wandered much further afield than a few regular blogs (like my children's blogs, Alan and Esther in Africa, Jesus Creed) and the occasional automobile site. I realize that my meandering sometimes comes from distractibility - when I'm working on something and just feel like I can't continue on without a break. Sometimes it is a pure lack of focus and motivation that sends me to search out interesting and strange posts. Sometimes my motivations are as pure as the driven snow - I really do have a thirst for knowledge and I am genuinely interested in a great many things.

So this all begs the question, why am I not surfing as much? One of the reasons is that I'm feeling some of the pressure of the things I want and need to do in terms of my studies and of the pressure I feel as a friend and I contemplate writing a book together. These efforts require a great deal of creative thought and theological reflection. Secondly, I've been making a couple of significant connections with some new people that I have been mentoring. Those connections require more time and more thought and meditational prayer. Thirdly, I've committed myself (and our congregation) to be praying more for neighbours, co-workers and friends. That requires some time and energy and focus.

I also think that one of the major reasons I'm not surfing much is because there is so much stuff out there and most of it is junk. I have been sensing that a great number of people have been sensing the futility of just gathering more information without really acting on it. The internet is a great source of information but it is getting to the point that sometimes it's not worth wading through all the junk in order to find the specific stuff that you really want. Maybe I'm just being more disciplined in sorting through the fluff to get to the heart. I wonder about how much information the collective human mind can actually hold. At what point does too much information just become futility?

This doesn't bode well for someone like me who is writing a blog hoping that someone comes across my mental meanderings posted on the web - who hopefully finds something of interest or inspiration. Others have felt the same way. One of the bloggers I regularly read has just up and quit (Fred Peatross) and now sends out an occasional email (now usually written by someone else). It makes me wonder about simpler times when you needed to work for the information you wanted. Because you can get anything you want with the click of a mouse our brains have become empty and lazy. We have filled them with useless amusements knowing the the stuff we need will always be available.

It also makes me wonder about what happened to that valuable art of memorization. It has certainly taken a toll on Scripture memorization when what you want can be searched for in a couple of seconds. It has also caused us to be ignorant of some great works of literature that was often committed to memory. I remember having to memorize forty or fifty lines of Shakespeare in high school and poems like Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman or The Village Blacksmith by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in grade school. I won't even get into spell checking.

I occasionally have an apocalyptic bent where I wonder what would happen if a gigantic solar flare fried all of our electrical generating facilities and we would have to go without all our electronic gadgets? I wonder how quickly our society would degrade into the survival of the fittest. I wonder who would be holding aloft the light of civility and grace and knowledge and faith? I want to read more books, pray more prayers and have deeper talks with more people. I want to write more and laugh more and do things that last a lifetime - or maybe an eternity.

Best Blog Post I Ever Read

This must be (for all its brevity and taking into account my personal bias) the best post ever. I saw it at Kirstyn's blog Breaking Free From Routine. I could just send you over there to read it (you should go - it's in colour there) but I wanted to put it here in so that others could read it as well. This is a prophetic message from God, It speaks to me that way and I hope it speaks to you as well.


God's Love

Thinking of My love
as simply a strong feeling towards you
is like drawing a single dot
on a piece of blank white paper.

My love has
colour,
shape,
design,
creativity.

It's 3 dimensional,
it lives,
it moves,
it breathes,
it has personality.

Cramming Prayer

I used some of the material found in my Slowing Down posts (here and here) to write an article for a local prayer newsletter called "The Kneeling Army." It's not all original stuff but I like how it turned out. Here it is.

Cramming Prayer
By Michael Krause (with a little help from my friends).

Some people relax or refresh themselves the way many college students cram for exams – instead of routinely giving space to rest, they hold their collective breath as their schedules fill with meetings and phone calls and e-mails and movies and … Discovering the stress of this breakneck pace, these same busy folk schedule a weekend off – but to pull it off, they must first work extra hours to clear their schedules, then go out of town to get away from the interruptions or take a whole week off, which then requires three days of recovery. In other words, they “cram” into their busy schedule some relaxation but have to get out of their regular, daily life to do it. Ever try to cram in some relaxation? It helps, but it doesn’t solve the problem. Just the expression “cram in some relaxation” creates tension.

Some people pray the way college students cram for exams …

Cramming reveals a basic misunderstanding of life – and many of us (me included) try to cram in prayer. We go about our daily lives trying to cope with the pressures of living: get up, make breakfast, make lunches, get the kids to school, get to work, make your boss happy, deal with cranky co-workers, stay late, rush to get the kids home, make supper, take the kids to lessons, or the mall, go shopping, pick up the kids again, get ready for bed, sleep, get up … Then when a crisis comes - like a sick child, being laid-off/fired, a new job, a new house, a crisis at work, a parent with cancer, an urgent deadline - we desperately cram in our prayer, frantically, anxiously hoping it will be effective.

Prayer needs to be like breathing, a regular rhythm of breathing out the concerns of our hearts and lives, then breathing in the restorative life and words of God. It is daily. It is hourly. It is moment by moment and needs to be as steady as breathing – part of the rhythm of life. But we often think prayer is effective only if it involves deep, intense, long times of intercession or contemplation, instead of it being natural and organic – like breathing. We are also too often in a hurry to go somewhere else or do something different to take notice of the fact that God is right there – closer than our next breath.

John Ortberg describes his attempt this way: “I called a wise friend to ask for some spiritual direction. I described the pace of life in my current ministry. The church where I serve tends to move at a fast clip. I also told him about our rhythms of family life. I told him about the present condition of my heart, as best I could discern it. “What do I need to do,” I asked him, “to be spiritually healthy?” Long pause. "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life," he said at last. Another long pause. "Okay, I've written that one down," I told him, a little impatiently. "That's a good one. Now what else is there?" I had many things to do, and this was a long-distance call, so I was anxious to cram as many units of spiritual wisdom into the least amount of time possible. Another long pause. "There is nothing else," he said. "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."

Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. Hurry destroys souls. Thomas Merton said: “The rush of life is a form of violence.” And Carl Jung wrote, "Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil."

For most of us, the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith or never pray. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it. We will just skim our lives instead of actually living them. We will settle for cramming prayers instead of a life of prayer.

Paul said it this way: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

For the Love of Writing 2

The downside of loving to write with a fountain pen is that we live in a digital world. I resisted getting a handheld organizer for many years because it just didn't give me the same tactile satisfaction as writing things down. However I eventually gave in and started using one. About a year and a half ago I joined the all-in-one phone-organizer-datebook-handheld-internet-browser crowd and it is sort of adequate for my needs. My wife however has gone back to the tattered little date book because she wants to see everything laid out on one page. Paper has not lost its place just yet.

But I still keep a paper journal - for the art of it all (see the last post). I also like to see it all. I still go back to journals I had written years ago because I remember a poem I wrote or an insight I had that I want to think through some more or just experience that moment again. I have tried to keep a journal on the computer. It just doesn't work. I need to see it. For me, out of sight is out of mind. It is harder to maintain a journal on the computer. It's hard to have the same kind of journalling experience. It feels detached from my reality somehow. It's tough to be sitting out in your car or on the side of the lake recording thoughts and impressions with a laptop. Somehow that's just not natural.

At the same time, the phenomenon of blogging has allowed millions of people to journal their thoughts and express their opinions and make it available to the whole world. But it just isn't the same for me. I really can't pour out my guts on a blog. I can't have a conversation with God on a blog. I can't have that deep conversation or argument with myself on a blog - Oh wait, I basically am talking to myself most of the time on this blog - but you know what I mean (well I know what I mean).

On the other hand there's nothing like having the flexibility of writing and rewriting and editing and storing and sending stuff to others that is possible when you use the computer. I cut and paste and use stuff from old papers and emails to add to (and hopefully enhance) the stuff I'm writing or the papers I need to produce or the articles I write. It's all there and can be retrieved fairly easily (if one has a reasonably efficient filing system - but if not, then that's what Spotlight is for).

For the Love of Writing

I love to write. Now that can be interpreted in a few ways. First of all, I love to write with a fountain pen. I love the hefty feel of the pen in my hand. I love the even flow of the ink and the slight resistance of the paper to the nib tip of the pen. I love the way the ink comes out on the paper. Hey, I even love the smell of the ink.

There is almost a joyful experience attached to writing with a quality fountain pen on good paper. It doesn't matter if I'm writing poetry or taking notes or jotting down a phone number. That tactile sense of having something in your hands and pouring out flowing lines on a canvas is almost like art - maybe some would consider it art - until they see the chicken scratches that I pass off as handwriting. Well it feels like art anyways.

I have a Waterman Carene Black Gold Tip fountain pen that was given to me as a gift about 8 years ago when I left Evergreen. About 6 years ago I dropped it (yikes!) and bent the nib tines. When I checked about repairs (I had the pen sent in by the store where it was purchased) they gave me a repair estimate that was over $200. Although the pen has significant sentimental value for me (it was engraved and given to me by my staff at Evergreen who continue to remain friends), I figured I could buy a new one for that price (although I never did). So sadly I just put it away and have been writing with lower end Sheaffers (Award model) and just recently purchased a Pelikan Technixx, (both fountain pens).

Recently I have been hunting around for a place to repair it and have found a few places on the internet who specialize in the restoration of classic fountain pens. (Check them out here and here.) They have what is almost a cult following. They display their collection of unique and antique pens - fully restored and in working order. I was impressed. Although I don't think I will start hunting around garage sales and flea markets for old fountain pens, I have been inspired to at least see if my Waterman can be repaired and restored to life. I want to continue the art.

For the Love of Reading

I love reading (or at least I used to). Recently though, a sad realization has slowly been dominating my horizon. I will never read all the stuff I want to read. It's even sadder than that. I will never even read all the books I have in my library. And still sadder? I will continue to buy books.

I am an inspiration style reader. What style is that you may ask? I read when I am inspired to read. And I read for inspiration. The first statement means that when I see a book that captures my attention or even just piques my interest, I want to read it because I believe it will help me in some way or i just want to satisfy my curiosity. So I buy it and read it until my curiosity is satisfied (or until I figure out what the author is trying to convey enough to think I understand the concept). Then I do that with the next book. Sometimes I will finish the book (especially if it is required reading for a course). Most times I won't.

I usually have five or six books on the go at once. I used to be fairly content with this style of reading. I was inspired. I was reasonably well informed. I read parts of a lot of books. My library looked impressive. I gave myself the impression that I was a voracious reader.

That all changed when I started reading for my DMin studies. Now I feel like I have to fully digest and comprehend all the stuff I read. I feel like I have to be able to regurgitate it, chapter, page and publisher at the drop of a hat - or at the request for a two page summary. I feel like I'm not nearly as well read as I used to be. There are so many books and authors and papers and blogs and websites, that my head is in a spin. No, I have not read the latest, most significant book on Paul, or leadership, or New Testament theology, or the atonement. To be honest, with all this reading, sometimes I just feel really stupid.

I am not keeping up and I have realized that I never will. That's hard for someone with perfectionistic tendencies to admit. I think my expectations need a slight adjustment in order for reading to become fun again. Part of the adjustment is to pretend I'm reading the required text of my course for fun - just for inspiration and enjoyment. I know lying to myself is never a good thing in the long run - but for now it might just help me keep the inspiration flowing and the reading going.

Maybe the love will return. Or maybe I just need counselling.

Happy Birthday!

Hillschurch Blog turns one today.

A year ago I started this blog.

Reflections?

It's a challenge to blog regularly and also to be honest about the things I am going through. It is much easier to just find things that are interesting and report on them and link to them. Actually interacting with the world and allowing it to affect me and then report on that impact is much more difficult.

I remember the experience of first going to work with street youth at Church on the Street and Yonge Street Mission's Evergreen. I remember preaching "from a distance." What I mean by that is that it was easy to find scriptural truths and present them during sermons. It was much harder to find ways that that scripture had made a personal impact on my life and to show how I was currently living it out. The failures had as much (if not more) impact than the successes. I learned that I needed to let the scriptures live and speak through me. That means that before they came out of my mouth they needed to travel through my heart.

The same is true of blogging. It is much easier to report little nuggets of truth or interest or even of aggravation than it is to let that information pass through my heart and mind and conscience first and then reveal how it affected me. I made a commitment back then not to preach without living (or trying to live) what I was speaking. I realize that that commitment needs to extend to all of life. Don't say stuff you don't mean. Don't teach what you're not living. Don't distance yourself from life. Engage all of life - the pain as well as the joy. Don't play it so safe. Carpe Diem! (Seize the day!)

It's your birthday - live a little!

Longing

I experienced longing again today as I was down by the lake. It reminded me of an article I wrote about 5 years ago - so I thought I'd post it for you all. Here goes ...

It happened just before Christmas. It happened to me as I looked at the 30 or 40 people, talking and laughing, clustered together in my kitchen/family room - seeing neighbours and church members becoming my friends. Something happened that night to ignite my imagination. It could actually happen anytime. It might be happening all the time. It may have happened to you this morning as you glanced out your bedroom window or as you stepped out your front door. For some, it may not have happened for a very long time - maybe not since you were very young, for it tends to happen more often when you are young. Sometimes we forget how it happens.

For me it happens as the snow begins to lightly fall on a cold still night. It happens when I lie on my back to look at the stars on a clear night. It happens when I watch a favorite movie. It happens when I think about my childhood and the innocence of being a little boy. It happens when I watch children playing, or hold a baby, or spend time with an old friend. It happens in springtime when the first warm day hits and I can smell things growing. It happens when I see the trees first begin to change colour in autumn. It happens when I hear an old song on the radio. It happens when I watch big fluffy clouds float by on a warm sunny day. It happens when I see an old man sitting by himself at a table in the mall. It happens when I stand on the top of a big hill or mountain and can look around for miles. It happens in church when I worship. It happens when I think about my calling. It happens when I walk my neighbourhood. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me and overwhelms me with the force of its power and I'm left shaken. Other times it just slowly builds until I know it's there but can't quite put my finger on it.

Looking east from the end of my driveway - late August at around 6:30am

What happens is … longing - longing that ignites the imagination into dreaming what might be. It's that bittersweet ache at the very centre of your being - that desire for something more, something you can't quite put your finger on but that you hope against hope might be true. It is a longing … for beauty, fullness, purpose, adventure, belonging, love … longing for something that is just beyond the edges of your consciousness. It is a longing for the eternal - for the best in life, for heaven, for God. I believe that longing is something spiritual put in our hearts by our Creator. It is at its core, a longing for the eternal. It's called desire, zeal, passion. Those who experience it are often called incurable romantics, dreamers or visionaries. Sometimes the Bible calls it thirst or hunger. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness." We can't live without it. We cannot be human without it. God has placed it in our hearts.

John Gaynor Banks says it this way: "Desire is a mighty force, one of your most divine attributes … see the God-like quality of desire! For it is part of the Atomic Energy of the soul. The kingdom of heaven within you is operated by desire. Do not quench it or crush it … rather offer it to God." Psalm 37:4 says: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Desire is very individual. It is given to us to guide our way, to find our purpose in life, to discover our calling, our destiny. This deep desire in our hearts for eternal things is placed there by God. Think about it. We are not fully satisfied when we achieve merely earthly goals. We are left longing for more, something eternal.

Fundamentally, this longing is consummated in our worship of the eternal - our worship of God. John Eldridge writes: "Our hearts live for an experience of worship that fills our being with a joy that is so deeply in awe of the Other that we are barely aware of ourselves. God is the wellspring of anything that has ever romanced your heart - the thundering strength of a waterfall, the delicacy of a flower, the stirring capacity of music, the richness of the best food, the depths of true love."

C.S. Lewis adds: "When we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak."

Unfortunately most of us never really allow this longing to do its work in us. We’ve been falsely taught that holiness is niceness, contentment means eliminating passion and to actually admit to being dry, thirsty, longing for more is unspiritual or psychologically unsound. We’ve pushed away desire, afraid that it might be lust, not making the effort to discern the difference. Rarely, if ever, does deep desire find expression in our worship services, or even in our prayers. Afraid of being disappointed, we push down the majestic desires and God-inspired dreams of our lives, not allowing ourselves to hope. Instead, we settle for manageable goals, measurable outcomes, diluted passion and safe dreams. We accept bland lives, dead-end jobs, comfortable church, and the tyranny of the urgent. We've been bought off by the promise of a comfortable life and settle for the shadows of real excitement through television. We sell our birthright for a little bit of pleasure and some peace and quiet. We've learned to reduce our desire to a more manageable size. The chilling danger is that the soul should persuade itself that it is not hungry. But let's be honest about what we've done and call it what it is ... sin.

If it is sin, we must repent and open our lives to the adventure God has in store for us. We must open our hearts and be vulnerable. We must live in such a way that we risk disappointment and pray for the impossible. Someone once said that there is no prayer that after having prayed it God did not wish it were bigger.

Are you hungry for a deeper intimacy with the Creator of your heart? Do you long for your community to be different? Does your heart go out to your neighbours? Do you long for them to encounter God’s best? Do you thirst for the kingdom? Do you hunger for the eternal? He made us that way.

I have a longing for more … more of God, more of His Kingdom, more of the eternal, more of the transforming power of His Spirit … changing my life and the lives of the people who I meet on my street every day.

Wikipedia, Blogs and Writing

Isn't life like that? You blog about something and then suddenly you find a hundred other places where that topic was discussed. It makes me think back to when we were pregnant (well actually Brigitte was pregnant) and it seemed everywhere I looked I saw pregnant women. You see what you pay attention to.

Well the point is that after posting about Wikipedia, I suddenly discovered all kinds of blogs and articles and sites describing some of the difficulties with using this as a source of information. This article ( Wikipedia and Academia Hit News Headlines Again) has a whole list of related articles and sites about the difficulties of the Wiki phenomenon. In part the article reveals that Middlebury College history students are no longer allowed to use Wikipedia in preparing class papers. The school's history department recently adopted a policy that says it's OK to consult the popular online encyclopedia, but that it can't be cited as an authoritative source by students. The policy says, in part, "Wikipedia is not an acceptable citation, even though it may lead one to a citable source." History professor Neil Waters says Wikipedia is an ideal place to start research but an unacceptable way to end it.

However most places would allow you to cite Wikipedia and other online information sites (including blogs) but not to use them as reliable sources of information. They could be used to provide anecdotal information or examples of differing opinions on a topic but not for hard facts. That would have to be backed up with more traditional sources.

There are a number of alternative online sources of information that are more reliable and don't have the same left leaning, anti-Christian bias of Wikipedia. A couple of notable ones are Scholarpedia written by, you guessed it, scholars. Experts must be either invited or elected before they are assigned certain topics. Then there's Conservapedia, a conservative, Christian-influenced wiki encyclopedia that was created as a response to Wikipedia's alleged left-wing bias. The information found on this site is free of foul language, sexual topics and anything else deemed offensive by the site's editorial staff. There are also the paid subscription sites like Encyclopedia Britannica Online and Microsoft's Encarta. For a fuller description check out Top 7 Alternatives to Wikipedia from the Online Education Database.

This site gives information on how to cite a blog or Wiki article. The Citation Machine actually does the work for you if you plug in all the information. One of the difficulties of online information is that the material is not always where you first found it, or the website that you discovered the information has disappeared. For that purpose there is The Internet Archive who describe themselves as "building a digital library of Internet sites and other cultural artifacts in digital form. Like a paper library, we provide free access to researchers, historians, scholars, and the general public."

I started this trek over at Matt Weibe's site where he posed the question: Blogging: A Reliable Academic Source? He also has a couple of posts on blogging (Part One and Part Two). Two other sites that have some contributions to the topic are Blogging: Academia's Digital Divide? and The academic contributions of blogging.

This may or may not be useful information to you. However, in the midst of the work on my DMin, I need to often refer to or access the information on blogs and online sites because that is where most of the information about Emerging Church and Postmodernity is found. Much of the thinking and conversation is also happening in blog form and contributes to the topic in a significant way. I know I will be referring back to this post a number of times over the next few months.

When You Come Bring My Books and Laptop

I ran across this post by Fred Peatross at blog called Abductive Columns and I identified with it a great deal. So I've copied and pasted the post - and then added a few comments of my own at the end.

"Hi, my name is Fred and I’m a book addict. But I’m not a recovering book addict. I purchase books and more books. I read three to four books a month and I am currently three books behind.

If you prefer to picture heaven as pearly gates and streets of gold and jasper walls and crystal fountains, be my guest. I prefer a heaven that looks like a reading room.

I read for many reasons. Two worth mentioning. I enjoy learning and being challenged by the minds of others. It opens the gate to a rich world releasing me from my own backyard.

Without the thoughts of others my ideas become imprisoned, fenced-in, stale, bound, and copyrighted by my own limited intellectual reasoning. I walk within the confines of my backyard anesthetized in a sleep-walk of my own opinions, thoughts, and ways.

When Christians are not reading their faith community’s forward movement slows, creativity is compromised, and understanding and momentum atrophy. Last week a friend objurgated me for referring to the church as a stained-glass ghetto. This person failed to understand the metaphoric phrase “church in a stained glass ghetto” because he wasn’t an avid reader.

Thomas Jefferson couldn’t stop buying books. Whenever he traveled, he was on the lookout for books.

The traffic lanes between literature and life are highly congested. My lived experience is colored by literary experiences and increasingly by the hundreds of articles and online conversations I have daily.

In the past, theological conversations were found in books, magazines, and articles. Theological conversations today can still be found in books and conferences, but the cutting edge, progressive, thoughtful conversations are linked between blogs. This is not a conversation that is taking place in a traditional way. If you think you can go to the bookstore and purchase the most recent book and find out what’s going on, you’ll miss 90 percent of the conversation, which is essentially a grassroots, democratic, electronic, and interpersonal conversation."

Back to my comments again ...
Fred really is right about where most of the conversations are happening today - even if those conversations are later recorded in books. What used to happen only occasionally, or only in academia, over a cup of coffee and recorded scrawled on napkins is now happening every day on blogs and email conversations and it is recorded digitally (which is then easily compiled into more permanent forms like books). I am also increasingly finding books online as Ebooks which are being passed on from friend to friend and are reaching a broad range of people with almost no advertising. I mentioned one here a couple of days ago referring to the book called "So You Don't Want to Go To Church Anymore."

I think one of the best things about online conversations is that you can just eavesdrop - hearing what everyone else is thinking about, before you pipe in - or if you want, you don't have to say anything at all! The best way to start is to go to a site like that linked at the left or one in my Links page and then click on something that looks interesting and keep going. I find myself going to 15 or 20 blogs or sites, one linked to the next, reading different bits and pieces that I often copy and paste and use for papers or sermons.

Whew!

Whew! The paper is done - aside from a formal edit from Brigitte (my proof reader) and if I can keep my hands off it. I keep having this temptation to go back and review and adjust and add another footnote and tweak the flow of the argument here and there. I'm like a dog with a bone - I just want to keep gnawing on it. I just have to put aside my perfectionist tendencies and say "DONE!" I topped off at about 10,400 words (in the main body of the essay - not including footnotes or the words of the bibliography). Pray for Brigitte!

I titled it "The End of the World As We Know It." It's basically a survey of the recent literature surrounding trends in the Church over the last few decades. The consensus is that Christendom is over (Christendom being the system of religion that has dominated the Western world for more than a millennium) that's Christendom -not Christianity. The interest in spirituality and Jesus is actually very intense but most would consider the church irrelevant. But there are lots of new expressions of church being done that are having an impact. There are also lots of old styles of worship and devotion being done with equal effectiveness. The new is old and the old is new - sounds like Ecclesiastes.

I'll post some sections of the paper as the days and weeks go by. My next focus is a presentation that I need to do on Count Nicolaus Ludwig Zinzendorf - the founder of the Moravian movement. Very interesting stuff. Two common denominators of most renewal movements is a renewed interest in Jesus and a manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit - both happened with the Moravians. Stay tuned!

A Blogless Week

This has been a blogless week. I have a good reason though. I've been working hard on my studies for my DMin course. I've got three weeks left before I head back to Boston and I'm in the midst of finishing off my assignments. In particular, between my readings required for the residency at the end of June, and the related assignments and preparations I need to make for in class presentations, I'm putting the finishing touches on a major paper based on my reading over the past year. It's not about writing enough - it's about writing concisely. I was up to 15,000 words at one point, what with all the quotes and comments and ideas. Let's hope I can saw it off at somewhere south of 10 (thousand that is). If any of you really like to read and would like a draft, let me know - maybe we can work something out. It will be online sometime over the next few month as an archive of some kind - maybe over at the Hills website.

Writing - On The Side

Scot McKnight has some very thought provoking ideas about writing found on his blog here. I deeply identiified with them because of my tendency to write when I'm inspired - which too often is at 1:30 in the morning - and those moments are too few and far between. I can't remember who said it but it has stuck with me. "You learn to write by writing. You overcome writer's block by writing. If you don't know where to go next in your thoghts just start writing." It helps with essays. It helps with blogging. It helps with journalling. It helps to write your prayers. I actually love the tactile feel of a fountain pen on paper - the scratching roughness of it and the deep inkiness. Unless out of ink they don't skip. Too bad there is nothing really to compare when typing on a keyboard (especially now as mine is acting up and doubling letters all the time.) Anyways, enjoy the post - I repeated it in its entirety below.

Writing — On the Side
If I’ve been asked this once, I’ve been asked it 500 times:
“How do you do it?” And by that my questioners want to know how I have time to teach, write books, take care of this blog, and speak on occasions. I’ve given all kinds of answers — our kids and grown and gone; I’ve been at it for 30 years; it’s fun. Now that I’ve read James Vanoosting’s essay in And the Flesh Became Words, “And Be a Writer — On the Side,” I’ve got another answer:
I don’t write “on the side.” Many take up careers, most often as professors or sometimes editors or pastors, with the plan to write “on the side.” Most editors I know struggle, once they become editors, to write on the side. Not enough time, and the best hours of the day already consumed. And most pastors don’t have time, nor the practice, to write on the side. What might surprise many of you is that the vast majority of professors also don’t write “on the side.” Why?
My explanation is simple: writing can’t be done on the side because, as James Vanoosting says it, “Writing is not pedagogy but an epistemology” (160).
In other words, writing is a lifestyle, a way of life, a way of being, a modus operandi, a way of breathing and eating and drinking. Better yet, writing is a way of learning, a way of coming to know what someone wants to know, a way of discovering.
Writing is not something to do when everything else is cleared off the desk; no, it is something that makes order of the desk. I don’t get up wondering what I will write about, but I write about what I’m wondering. (That’s almost Chestertonian.) In other words, as Augustine spoke of “faith seeking understanding,” so writing is a pen seeking understanding.
Some write about what they already know; those books show up as textbooks. Others write about what they don’t know; those books show up as suggestions, innovations, explorations, experiments, and — here’s the joy — possibly really interesting. FF Bruce wrote about what he knew; Jimmy Dunn writes about what he doesn’t know. That is why the former’s books are standard and solid, and the latter’s suggestive and provocative.
Now back to the “on the side” bit. If a person wants to write, nearly always it has to be a way of life. Some do manage to write on the side, but the vast majority write every day, all the time, and they begin the day in the mind wondering how best to express a thought.
The biggest mistake I see in young professors is the (almost always) mistaken notion that they will write during the summer break full-time or they’ll wait until the Chrstmas break or over the Spring Break. No analogies work completely, but to me that is about like saying, “I’ll not train all year long, and try running competitively over break.” Like running, writing is something that takes constant practice.
And here’s the second mistake I often see: some think they can begin a writing career by writing a book. Instead, it is easier to begin by writing book reviews, magazine articles, and journal articles. It might be easier even yet to begin with a blog — but only if you can add to it daily, or at least five times a week. (Otherwise, no one will read you.) In other words, begin small — writing small pieces so that a daily habit, or a weekly habit, is built. Over time, it can become a genuine habit.
When you look at writers, it is wise to remember that most of us/them began small, and over time the daily routine of writing became a habit. That habit is what you now see; it didn’t spring up one summer break into a full-blown habit.
In other words, writing isn’t done on the side. It’s in the soul, it’s a way of being, and it’s not for everyone. It’s a scribbler’s itch to get it down.