Chickville and Guyville
I like talking and thinking about the differences between men and women. There are a ton of books out there from many perspectives with the classic being the Men Are from Mars: Women are from Venus series. I enjoy using some of this stuff in pre-marital counselling where it is marginally useful and marriage counselling where it is extremely useful.
There is an interesting discussion about the differences between men and women going on at a couple of blogs. It started with Julie R. Neidlinger at Lone Prarie posting a little ditty about Useful Chick Information for Residents of Guyville - ten points to help guys understand where gals are coming from.
The gauntlet was thrown down to challenge some guy to respond in like manner. So Keith Schooley did by posting Useful Guy Information for Residents of Chickville and then a follow-up with All the Lonely People. I would say Keith's is actually very well thought out and extremely insightful. Julie's stuff was .. well, not necessarily useful for someone married for 23 years but interesting nonetheless. (EDIT What I meant to say was that I enjoy this repartee and have actually spoken at retreats using a back and forth style like this. Julie's comments were insightful and provocative but Keith's comments took me back to those days of trying to communicate to a roomful of women about how guys approached relationships.)
I may use some of this stuff for my premarital counselling sessions. It should provoke some good discussions.
By the way, be sure and read the comments - they have some great follow-up comments and in Julie's post, a few other less useful attempts at Useful Guy Info.
3 comments:
I appreciate the kind comments and the link. Thank you.
I want to give Julie credit for the candor with which she opened the subject and the non-defensiveness with which she actually listened to the guys' (well, one guy's, anyway) point of view. I thought Julie's list was pretty good considering the fact that she's single and has, in a sense, only seen one side of the equation firsthand. I shudder to think what my list would have looked like when I was at her stage of the game.
I agree. I reread the post and realized that I made it sound like I felt Julie's contributions were not as relevant. They were very insightful and I enjoyed her follow up questions as well in the comments section.
What I meant to say was that I enjoy this kind of repartee and have actually spoken at retreats using a back and forth style like this. Julie's comments were insightful and provocative but Keith's comments took me back to those days of trying to communicate to a roomful of women about how guys approached relationships.
Thanks to both for taking the time to articulate the issues.
Regarding Julie's original post, I especially liked #10 which reads: *Women aren't fish. Women can't be caught. The pursuit of women never ends. If you think you've caught yourself a woman and can slack off and stop pursuing her as you once did, surprise: nope. Women want to be pursued, always, even if the relationship seems solidified and without question. To women, men pursue what is valued and desirable, and if you stop pursuing us, we must no longer have value or be desirable."
Very true - even after 23 years of marriage.
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